Posts Tagged ‘kids’

Crazy Quotes

At the end of the summer, the district hosted a large party for all of the children who participated in the summer program. It was a very hot day, but that didn’t stop the kids from lining up, barefoot, for the giant jumping house. The fake grass on the field was just too hot for a pair of 6 year old twin boys, and they were jumping around with cries of “Ow! Ow! Ow!” It was then that their older brother (9) said very calmly:

“If you just set your mind at peace and allow yourself to become one with the grass, your feet will become like stones and you won’t get burned.”


An older female patron had just received her brand new library card. She looked briefly around the room and then turned to the librarian at the desk and asked loudly:

“Is ‘Adult Materials’ where you keep the pornography?”

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Puke Chronicles

When you work in the Children’s Department, you learn to live with puke. The mothers of puking children, however, you could live without…

On a particularly busy spring afternoon, a young boy deposited a copious amount of puke on the rug in the Children’s area. The mother of the child reported the incident to the librarian at the desk, who bravely donned the rubber gloves and began scooping the stuff into a bucket. As the librarian scooped, the very same mother of the puker approached her again, held out her library card and said, “Could you tell me my pin number?”


The sounds of retching fill the small, historic library. A moment later, the pale-faced child and her mother approach the desk. The mother unceremoniously slides a puke-covered book across the antique desktop toward the librarian.

Mother: “You really should put trashcans in the Children’s area. Don’t you know that kids puke a lot?”

Librarian: “Why do we need trashcans? Obviously the books work just fine.”

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Security Nightmares: Library Lock In

Usually the library strives to be as welcoming as possible to children. As this Story of the Week demonstrates, however, sometimes we do our job a little too well…

A six-year-old girl triggered the motion sensors at her library after she woke up from her nap, which she had been taking  in the children’s Reading Castle. She had come to the library with her teenage brother, who had forgotten about her and left her behind. The staff had checked the Castle at closing, but failed to look underneath the beanbag chairs. The child woke up to find herself alone in a dark and scary library later that night. (Rumor has it she prefers visiting  the dentist over trips to the library nowadays.)

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