This was our first post on The Merry Librarian, and it remains one of our favorite (and most disgusting) stories. You could say that this story started it all! When Merry heard this tale from one of her coworkers, she knew she had to start a blog to chronicle some of the insanity of working in a library. Enjoy this gem from our past, and keep the Merry Librarian alive by sending in your own stories, too!
“Leaving a Legacy”
It has been a very busy day at the library, and the librarian takes a breath for the first time since lunch. With the breath comes a whiff of something very foul. Groaning inwardly, the librarian steps out from behind her desk to investigate—but she doesn’t get far.
Starting at the front door and passing through the self-check area, past the main desk, through the Children’s Section, up the stairs, around Adult Fiction and out the back door is a trail of human feces.
The librarian alerts the staff, who all try to keep from gagging while discussing what, exactly, should be done. A search is mounted for the defecator while the custodial crew (aka, the librarians) use the “Bodily Fluids Clean Up Kit” to dispose of the chunkier material. Later, one of the clerks realizes she’s stepped in a piece of the fecal matter and has been tracking it throughout the library. She is so upset that she has to go home to change clothes and shoes.
The perpetrator cannot be found, and so the security tapes must be viewed. Suspecting a child, the staff eyes the tapes carefully. Instead of a child, however, a middle aged woman–wearing white pants–walks through the front doors. She is apparently oblivious to the legacy she is leaving on the floor behind her. Nearby patrons, however, turn, point, hold their noses and hurry out of the library. Not one of them reports the woman to a staff member before she has left her trail throughout the library.
Moral of the story: If you see a person leaving a trail of poop, giggle, point, hold your nose and run away. Under no circumstances should you do something helpful, however…such as report the incident to staff.
Submit your stories to The Merry Librarian at firstname.lastname@example.org, or by calling our Story Line!